The Relationship Continuum Bridge model

Connecting: The type of relationship we have with most people—same-sex and opposite-sex friendship. Connecting also includes two people who have gone on any number of dates but have yet to define themselves as a couple deliberately evaluating marriage. Sexuality may be fully enjoyed in these relationships; however, there is no place for any erotic sexual behaviors (including true sex) in connecting relationships.

Coupling: Only a small number of relationships in a person’s lifetime will begin the journey across the Bridge. These are man and woman relationships who have likely been on a number of dates and, as a result, desire to intentionally explore the possibility of future marriage. Coupling includes the ideas of exclusivity, romance, and dedication to the process of moving down the continuum toward Covenanting (marriage). Erotic sexual behaviors are negotiated by the couple based on their unique relationship, with true sex biblically reserved for marriage. There are three distinct stages in Coupling:

Considering: This initial stage most often begins while still as a connecting relationship. Yet once they define the relationship as a couple (Coupling), they dedicate themselves to the process of prayerfully considering whether the other is what they truly seek in a soul mate.

Confirming: Sometimes called “engaged to be engaged.” A couple seeks premarital counseling and sets aside time for full disclosure of each other’s past. This allows the couple time to work through real issues prior to the emotional and social pressures of formal engagement.

Committing: This is engagement. The couple following our model may enjoy a relatively short committing stage—long enough to complete the practical matters of wedding and honeymoon planning and the merging of two separate lives.

Covenanting: This covenant relationship of marriage occurs with the official “I do” in the presence of loved ones who pledge to hold the new husband and wife accountable to their lifelong commitment to each other. In this relationship, true sex may be enjoyed without guilt and with God’s full blessing.

(from the Definitions and Models, pp. 12-13)